The Real Me
by HPMJ
Summary: ...The chamber, the smell, the bodies, Voldemort, and Snape. "Wait... Snape ! Why is he here ? And why is he ... protecting me ?" ... Harry was gone, and so was Ron. What was she going to do now ? The hope is gone.
1. Chapter 1

**1. The Nightmares.**

It was the same nightmare again. The same chamber, the same people, even the same smell that was drving Severus Snape insane. He was standing in front of none other than Hermione Granger. He was protecting her. _"Why am I protecting her ?"_ Protecting her from The Dark Lord, who was pointing his wand at The Potions Masters chest. The chamber was dark. The only light got there through a big window that was on the roof. The smell was ... beyond disgusting. The scent of dead bodies. Severus could just make out Potters and Weasleys body just beside the wall to his right. Now, all the hope is gone, The Chosen One is dead, so why is he even trying to protect her knowing what was about to come ? Voldemort was speaking, yet Snape couldn't hear a thing, and then the green light was travelling towards him at the speed of light, but he only saw it in slow motion. He then could hear the two words that escaped Voldemort's mouth. "Avada Kedavra." And then there was darkness... And numbness. The next thing he know he woke up in his bedroom in the dungeons all sweaty. The nightmare kept haunting him, since the school year had begun. He didn't understand it. The Dark Lord was gone... Forever. So why did he kept having that nightmare ? The horrible smell was gone, and all he could smell now was the fresh scent of his quilt. He breathed heavily, as he sat up and tried to forget about the nightmare.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Gryffindors tower, one particular student was suffering from the same nightmare. The chamber, the smell, the bodies, Voldemort, and Snape. _"Wait... Snape ?! Why is he here ? And why is he ... protecting me ?"_ Hermione didn't understand anything from that dream, yet it scared the hell out of her, whenever she had it. Likewise Snape, she spotted the dead bodies of two of her best friends, and she couldn't help but panic. Harry was gone, and so was Ron. What was she going to do now ? The hope is gone. And then the green light, and Voldemort screaming those two words filled with such hatred. Hatred, yes, but he was also satisfied, for after all those years he had defeated his worst enemy, Harry James Potter, and now he also killed the double spy. Hermione hated Snape with passion, yet she couldn't help but feel so... devastated when he feel to the ground, unconciously. He was dead. Gone forever. A single sob escaped her lips, as she ran up to his cold body and bent down. He looked so peaceful, and then the anger built up in her. She stood up, whilst taking her wand out of her pocket and pointing it at Voldemort. He just smirked, and said in that cold tone of his "I killed your boyfriend, what will you do now ?" Hermione was paler than ever. Even paler than Snape, if that was possible. _".. my who ? Snape ? My boyfriend ?"_ The Gryffindor couldn't help but feel more confused as his words sunk in. She snapped something at Tom Riddle, but she couldn't hear her words, but they made Voldemort furious. He raised his wand, and Hermione felt like she couldn't care less what happened to her now, that... Snape was gone ? And then there was two words, and the green light. She could feel her body hitting the hard marble floor, and then nothing. Darkness, and numbness. After that, Hermione woke up. That happened every night, although tonight she found herself lying on the sofa in the common room, with a book on her lap. She had fallen asleep here - she looked at the clock just over the fireplace, and sighed - just 4 hours ago.

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_Hey ! I just wanted to let you know that this is my first story here and ask you if you could excuse me for any spelling or grammar mistakes. I'm polish and i've been learning English for three years. Hopefully, i won't make lots of mistakes. :P Feel free to review, so i know if you'd like me to continue the story. :) _


	2. Chapter 2

_Just letting you on, i do not own The Harry Potter saga. All the credits go to J. K. Rowling. :) Anyways, on with the chapter. _

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**2. "He's Just A Man Hiding In A Shell, Too Afraid To Open Up To Anyone."**

Soon, after the nightmare was over, Severus was all dressed up and ready to leave his chambers. He wore his black robes, as usual. It was around 4 a.m., yet 'Tha Bat Of The Dungeons' was already wide awake, and knew he would not fall asleep again tonight. Well, he could always use one of his potions, but he didn't feel the need to sleep at that very moment. As he headed for the door, he looked at the pile of papers on his desk, he still had to gradem and his notebook lying at the right side of them. Whoever would read even one page of his notebook, would never look at Severus the same way, because inside _he's just a man hiding in a shell, too afraid to open up to anyone_. He groaned and walked out of his chambers, closing the door behind him. The corridors were dark. The sun wasn't rising just yet. It would be in an hour or so. The Potions Master was walking slowly and quietly, making sure he would not wake any of the portraits up. The last thing he needed right now was the people from the portraits screaming at him for waking them up at such early hour. He loved wondering around the corridors of Hogwarts. He felt at home. Hogwarts was his home. He spent most of his life there. Although, he had bad memories also. Mostly, from the time when he was a student himself. And to his relief now, he was the one who could torminate and take points away from those dunderheads, also so called students. He left the castle, and was now heading towards the tree that was just opposite to the lake. He had spent enough nights, sitting under that tree, to find out that he loved stargazing. He inahaled the scent of the fresh grass, and trees from the Forbidden Forest. Once, he got to the tree, he laid down and stared up at the sky. Today the view was... breathtaking, magnificent, beautiful. He could not think of a word that would describe how beautiful the sky was. It was cloudless, and black with hints of grey, and when Snape looked to his left, he could see hints of purple strolling in, giving Severus the sign that the sun was slowly beginning to make its journey through the sky, just to disappear behind the horizon about 8-9 hours later. Fresh air, was all he needed at that very moment. He hated having those nightmares, and being outside helped him calm his nerves, before having to teach those idiots yet again. No one in his class, never seemed to understand the instructions that he had always given them. No one, but the know-it-all Gryffindor, called Hermione Granger. Severus could not tell how much he hated her smart comments, and so at the thought his forehead creased in a frown, while his lips were only a tight line on his pale face.

* * *

Hermione could feel the warmth of the flames that were dancing in the fireplace of the Gryffindors common room. She was sitting down, on the sofa staring at those red, yellow and orange, sometimes blue flames, whilst thinking over the dream, yet again. She always did that, after waking up, and never could really come up with a sensable reason why Voldemort called Snape her boyfriend, or why did The Potions Master protect her. The Gryffindor girl, wasn't used to that kind of thing. Usually - no, always - she knew the answer, and it was probably because she read nearly all the books that she could find in the Hogwarts library and outside of Hogwarts. She pulled up her knees, wrapped her arms around them, and rested her chin on them, before locking her chocolate brown eyes on the red rug that was lying just in front of the fireplace, as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. The brown haired girl, knew she would not fall asleep tonight, so she decided to get some fresh air, for particular reason. 1. Her thinking seemed to be better and clearer when she was out in the open air, 2. It was way too early for The Great Hall to be open, and so she did not have anything else to do, since she had all of her essays done already. Knowing, it would still be cold outside, she got her jacket from the dorm, and left the Gryffindors common room. Just as Snape, she moved slowly and quietly, thinking the same thing as he was. Soon, she found herself outside. The sky was no longer black, but grey-ish and kind of blue-purple, where the sun was rising. Keeping her eyes locked on the sky, she didn't see where she was going. Overhelmed by the beauty of the sky and the scent of the fresh cut grass and many other things combinated, she forgot to look at the ground as she walked, and that caused her to trip over something or... someone. Quite shocked and confused Gryffindor fell to the ground, but caused herself no harm. She looked at the something/someone she had tripped over and to her suprise it was... _Snape ?! What is he doing here ?!_, her mind screaming as he couldn't stood up and brushed her robes down, before looking down at Snape just to find him throwing her deadly glances. _"Oh, if only looks could kill."_

"Proffesor Snape." Hermione said, her voice was barely louder than a whisper, but she knew he would hear her just perfectly. "What a great observation, Miss Granger." The Potions Master snapped at her sarcastically, while getting up slowly and likewise know-it-all Granger brushing down his robes. "I understand that there is a sensable reason, why you left your chamber at this time." He looked at her, his face was emotionless, and that made Hermione wonder how could he keep his face so straight. "There's no reason, sir. I needed some fresh air." Her answer came out only as a whisper, before she sighed, looking down, knowing what was to come next. "Ten points off Gryffindor, and whole week detention. Now, i would advice you to get back to the Gryffindor tower " Snape smirked to himself. Oh, how he loved having control of the students. That morning had definately made his day, except for the part when she tripped over him. Hermione just nodded and walked past him, knowing that there's no point in fighting, since he will win anyways. _"Damn you, Snape ! I hate you... so freaking much."_

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_That would be it for now. ^_^ Please, review and tell me what you think. :) Hopefully the next chapter will be posted tomorrow. The only thing i tell you that it's going to be more interesting. ;) _

_**HPMJ**_


	3. Chapter 3

Still not owning Harry Potter, etc. etc.

*** * * **

**3. Life goes on.**

Snape's eyes followed Hermione until she was gone, and by that time the sun was already up. Severus sighed, and headed for the castle also. His first class was of course with Slytherins and Gryffindors. And yet again, he will have to try and explain everything to those... ugh. The only good thing was that Potter was gone. He would not have to look into his green eyes anymore. Those eyes that looked exactly like Lily's eyes. _"I should of died there... But no, Potter had to be a hero. Ugh. " _

_**Flashback.**_

Severus was lying on the ground in the Shrieking Shack. He was dying, he felt the pain inside, yet he was... hopeful. He wanted to see Lily again, and maybe... just maybe he'll be as lucky to see her. And then he saw Potter. And he remembered Dumbledore's words. The memories running through his head quickly, as he spoke in a quiet and weak voice. "Take.. this... take..this." Suprisingly, Potter realised what The Half-Blood Prince was talking about, and soon Snape's memories were in the little bottle, that Miss Granger passed to The-Boy-Who-Lived. And then, Severus caught Potter by his collar and pulled him closer, before speaking again. But this time, his voice was.. weaker, and even quieter if that was possible. "Look... At...Me." He felt the need to see Lily's eyes again. Her beautiful, green eyes. He saw them as Harry listened to Snape's order, and that was it. Severus Snape was dead, or so he thought.

The next thing he knew was waking up in 's.

_**End Of The Flashback.**_

The Potions Master stopped in front of the door that led into the Great Hall. He pushed them without any hesitation before walking in. It was... quiet and completely empty, except for one Severus Snape, that was now walking up the hall. The sky on the ceiling was cloudless and perfect blue. Snape's eyes were locked on the seat that Dumbledore had always sat in. Unfortunately, Severus won't ever get a chance to see the man he looked up to sitting there again. He could thank himself for that. He didn't have to listen to the old man, and kill him. The raven-haired man sat in his usual seat at the top table and could just remember the headmaster of Hogwart talking about Draco Malfoy's soul. _"And my soul Dumbledore ? Mine ? " _

_**Flashback.**_

A tall man with oily black hair was sitting in the headmasters office in front of the big mahony desk. Albus Dumbledore's seat wasn't occupied by the man himself, but by his colleague Minerva McGonagall. "I can't tell you how much i regret not listening to Albus, and not trusting you, Severus." The woman's voice was weak, and Snape could just tell that what she'd said was true, because of the depression in Minerva's eyes he had never seen before. She really was sorry. Severus barely nodded, as his eyes flicked to the portrait of Albus Dumbledore who seemed to be taking a nap, completely unaware of what was going on in his office. "But that's not the reason you invited me here, or is it ?" Snape's silky, cold voice was heard for the first time, since he had said 'good afternoon' once he entered that office. Minerva inhaled deeply and closed her eyes just to open them a second later. "No." The headmistress had said whilst she exhaled.

_**End Of The Flashback.**_

And here he was teaching those dunderheads again. Now that, most certainly, everyone knew about Snape's love for Harry's mother, everything was different, but as much as Severus disliked it he couldn't change a thing. All the students had been staring at him, since the school year begun. They did it before they knew about his love but now it was way worse, and utterly annoying. The Potions Master sighed. _"Oh well, Life goes on."_

*** * ***

Hermione got to the Gryffindors tower in about 10 minutes. Everyone was still asleep, so she had nothing to do, unless she was going to read a book. But she wasn't. Instead, she placed herself in the armchair in front of the fireplace, and pulled her knees up, before wrapping her arms around them. The know-it-all Gryffindor locked her eyes on the flames, as she thought about her bestfriends who were now, probably far away. Neither Harry or Ron wanted to finish their final year. Ron got into Quidditch team, just as he dreamed and Hermione was happy for her boyfriend but she missed him. Harry started the auror training, but he didn't seem happy. Hermione got letters from them weekly (from Ron it was usually monthly) so it wasn't that bad, but she missed the times they were in Hogwarts together.

She quickly looked up at the window, as she heard something tapping on it. Hermione literally jumped up when she saw Harry's new owl. He called it Hermes. She opened the window, to let Hermes in. He flew in and sat on Hermione's shoulder and then she saw the letter he had tied to his little leg. The Gryffindor quickly took it off and saw down on the sofa, with Hermes still on her shoulder. She opened the letter quickly and smiled at the sight of Harry's handwriting. The letter was unusually short. It was rather what Ron did. Harry had always written long letters to her. She shrugged her worried thoughts off and began reading.

_"Dear Hermione, _

_I quit the auror training. I'm coming to Hogwart in a few days, just need to sort out few things here. _

_I argued with Ginny and i think we're over. I'll tell you about it when i'll get to school._

_So, I'll see you soon._

_Love,_

_Harry._

_P.S. Do you think Snape will want to talk to me ?" _

That letter had Hermione so confused, he didn't understand the half of it. Harry's coming to Hogwart ? What for ? To talk to Snape ? Why does he want to talk to him ? Him and Ginny are over ? Why didn't the red-head tell her ? They're supposed to be "best friends" .

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